Announcement: Embedded Videos and Newly EQ'd Songs

Frequent visitors of this blog may have noticed a few changes to the posts recently, and I'm here to let you know exactly what's changed and what it means.
First, the most obvious update is the addition of embedded video to each post. This was at the request of perhaps my most dedicated listener, so I was happy to grant his request. This should make it easier to find everything in one place rather than making people check my blog as well as my youtube account if they enjoy both the audio and video portions.

Second, numbers have been appended to many of the mp3 files. Some people have noted that my voice is sometimes difficult to hear over the music, so when I attempt to rebalance the track volumes for a given song, I record the version number of the newest mix in the Comments field of the ID3 tag and append that number (minus the periods) to the end of the file for easy reference.

Those interested in listening to the songs in higher quality will be pleased to know that as of today, I've re-EQ'd almost all of the songs that were released this year, uniformly applying a new vocal filter customized to my voice for improved volume and clarity. The only songs that don't have updates are the Kusanagi Video Mix (because I saved over it when I made the Blog Mix) and the Swine Flu song (because it already had the new vocal filter applied). I will most likely not update them further, so there's no need to wait for a newer version to appear.

As for the 2008 tracks, they will have to remain as they are, because I lost all of the project files in a hard drive failure last year (thanks to a Western Digital MyBrick).

If you're not sure if you have the most up-to-date mp3, here's a guide:

1) mp3's with no version number are assumed to be v1.0
2) 1.2.1 is newer than 1.2, which is newer than 1.1.1, which is newer than 1.1

If you're not sure just how much better the new versions sound, play the embedded audio back-to-back against the embedded videos (which use the original v1.0 songs). If you can't tell the difference, either don't worry about it or try listening with headphones.

Thanks for listening!


Daily Swine Flu Tally Makes Huge Deal Of Seasonal Illness

It's easy to think the apocalypse might be right around the corner when mass media gives you a daily count of people who've contracted a disease. This time they've picked a strain of flu virus that causes *gasp* the same symptoms as every other strain, including the possibility of death. So feel free to worry about something you've forgotten to worry about every year.

The original news articles can be found here:

Officials say US deaths expected from swine flu

These are the lyrics:

These days there's more articles about it in the news
than people who have actually contracted swine flu
and the more that you hear it the more you gon' fear it
i've had enough of that so the air i'm clearin'

more people gonna die driving in their cars
but that don't make news like new flus or SARS
let me break you down just a few statistics
amidst the paranoia you might have missed it

35,000 deaths occur every flu season
we weren't concerned last year, what's the reason?
SARS "epidemic" killed 774
out of the largest population in the world

i'm not saying that you shouldn't be worried
but worry on the news gets bigger in a hurry
surely a daily update on the state of
any malaise will have you thinking crazy things
in a hazy maze of amazingly vague information
doomsday's days away but strangely patient

Feel like got it from all those promotin' it:
It's been a few days and I'm already over it.

The mp3 can be downloaded here:


草なぎ容疑者 全裸で公園で泥酔ぶり Japanese TV Star Kusanagi Tsuyoshi Found Drunk, Naked In Park

Kusanagi Tsuyoshi, a well-respected member of the longtime pop sensation SMAP, tarnished his wholesome image Thursday morning when he was found drunk and naked in a Tokyo park, singing Korean songs and being belligerent. Companies and government agencies using his image in their campaigns immediately pulled their advertisements and nullified their contracts with the star. Kusanagi is expected to make a public apology and reflect on his actions.

The original news articles can be found here:


草なぎ容疑者 全裸で奇声!異例の家宅捜索も

草なぎ剛容疑者:「地デジ」広報、作り直し CM中止相次ぐ

Japan aghast over drunk TV star's naked blunder

These are the lyrics, first in Japanese, then in English, and finally in romaji (transliterated Japanese):





On the morning of the 23rd in a park in Akasaka
yelling "Shingo!
and rolling around,
a drunk was making a scene.
What's more, he was completely naked.

No way, is that Tsuyoshi-kun?
He's flailing his limbs around.
"What's wrong with being naked?"
he protests as he is made into a drunk burrito with a sheet
and loaded into a police car.
His commercials were subsequently pulled
and his agency deeply apologized for his actions.

Although it was a crime of little malice
Japanese media seems to say "Scandal? Alright!"
It would be strange if they didn't overreact.

Actually, it seems like a great promotion for digital television:
"Let's watch ridiculous news in high definition!"
(the government removed him from their "converting to digital" campaign)

ni juu san nichi no asa Akasaka no kouen de
"shingou" tte sakende
dengurikaeshi wo shite ite
aru yopparai ga sawaide ita
sara ni zenshin suppadaka

masaka kono hito Tsuyoshi-kun?
teashi wo batatsukasete iru
"hadaka dattara nani ga warui" to
ii nagara shiito de deisuiburiitou
ni natte patokaa ni noserarete
kare no CM no chuushi aitsugu
Jyaniizu jimusho fukaku wabiru

akushitusei no hikui hanzai
nanoni "skyandaru? banzai!"
to ii sou na nihon no masukomi
hannou shisugi shinakerya okashii

gyaku ni chideji no kouhou ni narisou
motto kirei ni tondemonai nyuusu miyou!

Both the Blog Mix and Video Mix mp3s can be downloaded below:
Blog Mix13.mp3
Video Mix.mp3


Charred Meat May Increase Risk of Pancreatic Cancer

A new study documenting the eating habits of more than 62,000 participants over 9 years has revealed a strong connection between eating charred meat and pancreatic cancer. Kristin Anderson, an associate professor at the University of Minnesota, which led the study, suggests various ways to prepare meat other than frying or grilling that may lower the risk of developing this highly deadly disease.

The original news articles can be found here:

Burned meat linked to pancreatic cancer

Charring Meat May Boost Risk of Pancreatic Cancer

These are the lyrics:

Do you like your barbecued meat well-done?
Well if you do your pancreas may well done for son
according to a University of Minnesota study
you might be better off eating red meat bloody

because charred black meat contains heterocyclic amines
it's got carcinogens is what that means
of over 62,000 healthy people documented
over nine years there was a high percentage
in people who often ate things like well-done steak
of gettin' pancreatic cancer depending on their intake

there's a few precautions you might wanna take
just in case like having your meat stewed or baked
or put it in the microwave before you grill
or just cut off the burnt part before you eat your fill

there's a lot fewer options once you get sick
cause pancreatic cancer will kill you quick
even if the study lacks a definitive answer
lowering your risk is the best cure for cancer

The mp3 can be downloaded here:


Roughly 9 Percent of Young Gamers May Be 'Addicted'

According to a recent study by Harris Interactive, 8.5 percent of kids surveyed showed signs of being "addicted" to video games, playing them to a degree that adversely affected their closest relationships, their schoolwork, or their health.
I'm the kind of person who almost by reflex scoffs at people who purport that video games lead to violent behavior, etc., but I must admit that if nothing else, games can be addictive. Sometimes it takes a lot of self control to put them down, and I'm glad I was finally able to. I still play them of course, but only after my "work" is done.

The original news article can be found here:

Almost 1 in 10 Young Video Game Users 'Addicted'

These are the lyrics:
if you're not familiar with the way this works
what I do is bring you news that you might have already heard
the only difference is i do it all in my own way
and it goes a little something like this, you could say i'm

bringing the news
"breaking" a story
i sing and i rap
if you don't like it: sorry.

as you can probably tell i like video games
I write about 'em once a week or so it seems
I never really talk about 'em as a problem
but they can be that if you play 'em too often

a nationwide survey by Harris Interactive
found many kids aren't very that 'cause of gaming habits
almost 9 percent are having trouble at school
with friends and family, some with health problems too

being addicted to games could be the cause or result
and don't think it doesn't happen to adults
because that was me back in January
when I played 'em all day every day exclusively

played a little bit less in February
when I made a new friend and had someone to see
did a little soul searchin' in March
realized it was due time to make a new start

now I make music I'm no game-a-holic
I changed games like my name was Greg Paulus
even if I got a low gamerscore
yo I feel ten times better than I did before

I gotta feeling why I needed 'em like sushi to rice
they made me feel nice like I won... when I failed at life
and maybe I still do but I ain't gon' quit
living my life by my own imagination

bringing the news
"breaking" a story
i sing and i rap
if you don't like it: sorry.

i'd like to thank everybody out there on twitter
'cause with your cooperation this is so much bigger

The mp3 can be downloaded here:


Ashton Kutcher Wins Twitter Battle with CNN

Ashton Kutcher surpassed a million followers on microblog site Twitter this morning, achieving victory in his battle with CNN to be the first to surpass that milestone. Kutcher joined The Oprah Show today via Skype to talk about his race with CNN.

The original news articles can be found here:


These are the lyrics:

Ashton Kutcher Friday morning butchered CNN
in a competition to reach one million
followers on Twitter it's getting bigger every day
and Ashton said "We showed the world that this here is the new wave"
made a guest appearance today on the Oprah show
via Skype communication he's in the technological know
and then Oprah tried her best to join in the sensation sending a text
warning Kutcher of middle-age saying that "ASHTON IS NEXT"
that's probably not what she meant at all but it kinda makes sense
and in the end she got 130,000 followers "go girlfriend!"
Now all that remains is a case of ding-dong-dutch
to Mister Turner and to tell Larry King that "I told you such"
i guess the moral of the story is I'd get more views
writing about Ashton Kutcher rather than about news

The mp3 can be downloaded here:


Real Snakes Loose on Plane, FBI Handles Drunk Man Instead

Four baby non-venomous pythons escaped in the cargo area of a Qantas Airlines passenger flight today. There were no FBI agents involved, no terrified passengers, and no Samuel L. Jackson, proving that, perhaps fortunately so, real life just isn't as exciting as in the movies.
On the other hand, FBI agents did investigate the case of a Hawaii-bound flight from LA on which a passenger who had been drinking urinated on a 66-year-old woman. He was convicted of assault and sentenced to 3 weeks in jail.

The original news articles can be found here:

Baby pythons escape during flight in Australia
Man jailed for urinating on woman during flight

These are the lyrics:

nothing says "real life is too mundane"
like an uneventful case of snakes on a plane
four non-venomous half foot-long pythons
escape on the passenger plane they were riding on

they decide to play in the cargo bay
while the other 8 snakes said "hey, we'll just stay
right here in our foam box. no need to get lost
and fumigated before the next flight takes off"

and that's what happened when they counted 'em afterwards
couldn't find a one so they gassed the bastards
the plane's back in operation few concerns were raised
and that species wasn't even endangered

neither were the passengers in that case
but on a real Hawaiian flight this dude whipped out his own snake
went up to a woman who was sixty-six
musta thought she looked like a good place to piss

he had been drinking but that's a poor story
if you can stand up you can recognize a lavatory
FBI held an investigation
he got 3 weeks behind bars for urination

feds take real cases don't mess with snakes
they should make a movie called "Drunks Pissin' In Faces"

The mp3 can be downloaded here:


Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Ad Flusters Rapper Newscaster

In attempting to cover Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony spoof video, I eventually get drawn in by her charm. I guess self-deprecation really IS sexy! (see this post for reference)

The original news article can be found here:


These are the lyrics:

to Samantha Ronson I send my condolences
Lindsay Lohan is looking for romance
is this for real? I think not. Here's why:
her promo was featured on the site "Funny Or Die"

and I admit: I had to laugh a little bit
that why she's not dead right now. i get it.
that's a pretty cool concept except
if i ever made a video there I'd be put to death

anyway let's get back on track
Lohan's eHarmony ad lists tons of fun facts
like how 9 out of every 10 celeb sites up
need her material to keep from going bankrupt

not only does she support the economy
she got more money in the bank than me!
doesn't even care if I'm a he or a she
I could change anytime if she liked my personality

I like passin' out in an Escalade
and I'll drive you when you're drunk like everyday
even if it's a PCH car chase
we can walk along the beach right after the court case

we can crash a party, a car, or your career
and then look around afterwards for your underwear
yo this rap started out as just a summary
but now it looks like some kinda desperate plea

I guess her video was a real success
and I know I called her "cracked out" last week, yes, but
I kinda take it back after seeing her ad
you know she's just crazy cool not crazy bad

The mp3 can be downloaded here:


Google Disables Uploads and Comments for YouTube Korea

After a string of incidents involving cyber-bullying, Korea enacted a Cyber Defamation Law on April 1st that compels all sites with over 100,000 unique visitors a day to implement registration requiring Koreans' real names to be verified with a national ID number. Google, taking a stand for anonymity, has refused to modify YouTube Korea's registration process, choosing instead to simply prevent Koreans from uploading or commenting on YouTube. However, they were thoughtful enough to post instructions on their YouTube Korea page about how to circumvent Korean law by changing user preference settings to another country.

Google apparently considers itself above the law in the foreign countries it provides service to, actually encouraging their citizens to sidestep their own laws. Ironically, this outright refusal to honor the laws that other countries deem important is in Google's "commitment to openness" and "bias in favor of freedom of expression". In the end, Google's expression of opinion is the only one that seems to matter.

In the song I outline some events that led to the passage of the Cyber Defamation Law and examine the insensitivity of Google's decision.

The original news article can be found here:


These are the lyrics:

yo we all know people like talking smack
online but in Korea they got bullies on crack
"Oppa" is a word they use for big brother
but instead of the government it's every other sucker

if you even neglect to clean up your dog's poo
someone'll take your picture post it on the net and find you
asking around for your name and address
where you go to school and wherever you go next

they'll make you so well-known you'll have to drop out
pack up all your things, move into a new house
you think I'm making this up? it happened in '05
the victim was lucky she didn't turn to suicide

but for an actress like Choi Jin Sil
if everyone was trashing you then how would you feel?
and a month before that it was Ahn Jae Hwan
both movie celebrities now both of 'em gone

pushed to the limit by people on the internet
you can't makes arrests when no one's innocent
but you pass a law on Cyber Defamation
requiring online ID registration

and that's what happened but Google ain't having it
saving anonymity by straight up cancelling
every Korean's ability to contribute
videos and comments on NotYouTooTube

then they made a post on their very own website
"everything's fine guys, everybody just lie, alright?
change your preferences to a nation that's not yours.
just like you were forced to before in other wars."

YouTube imposes ideas on Korea
at the same time saying "don't post yours, either!"
that's some hypocritical political bull
and after 8 years of Bush I'm full

go ahead tell your friends join a petition
YT won't feature me so who's gon' listen?

The mp3 can be downloaded here:


X-Men Origins: Wolverine Game Might Not Suck

Not many of us have high expectations for video games based on movies, but Ben Kuchera at Ars Technica has new high hopes for the X-Men Origins: Wolverine game after being pleasantly surprised by a cinematic and gameplay demo.

The original news article can be found here:


These are the lyrics:

not yet on the big screen but a million have already seen
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
yo who else could make your face into a shish kebab
and make a FOX movie critic lose his job?

yo you got new faces like Gambit and Deadpool
and hype that's bigger than a damn Sentinel
but even if it makes like a billion bucks
a game about a movie usually sucks

while some may claim this thing's more of the same
insanely tame shame of a game, yo "it's not so lame"
wrote a hopeful bloke from Ars Technica
it's no joke you know I expected a

PG-13 deeply insulting
boring-ass Wolverine but "this dude's mean"
putting his claws clean through the walls
impaling a dude's skull he falls camera shows it all

you can do just like you wanna when you're pissed off
slice a dude's arm, arm comes off
if you get hurt don't worry you'll heal
just sit back, watch it, tell your kids "that's not real"

ESRB's got beef with gore
the game's rated M for "Men": you know we're not mature

The mp3 can be downloaded here:


Kanye West Gets Humbled By South Park "Fish Sticks" Episode

A South Park episode aired yesterday has Kanye West reflecting on his ego as he posted to his blog today admitting "I need to just get past myself". While it may be undeniable that he has high self esteem, he points out that it helped him during times when no one believed in him. Using self esteem selectively might just be what Kanye needs to avoid a future South Park appearance.

The original news article can be found here:


These are the lyrics:

there's a cartoon South Park it's ornery
and last night it laid the smack down on Kanye
funny thing is it actually made him twitch
and he'll prolly think about it next time he eats fishsticks

wrote about it in a blog post today
how's he's trying not to be a douchebag per se
pointed out the difference between rap and real life
and how people like Little Wayne are so nice

even though he wrote in cruise control for cool
and misspelled "used to" yo he ain't no fool
talking 'bout how he used his self esteem
when no one ever thought that he could reach his dream

yo that's the kinda thing to which I can relate
when not even my mom has said "your rhymes are great"
so even if you don't remind us you're the best
you know we still love you, Mr. West

The mp3 can be downloaded here:


Anti-Chris Brown Song "My Flow So Tight" Causes Uproar

A new song entitled "My Flow So Tight" by DJ crew Jump Smokers, renamed from Smoke Jumpers due to a name conflict, calling for Chris Brown to "get his ass kicked" has gotten a sudden wave of attention as it received radio airplay last week.

The original news article can be found here:


These are the lyrics:

I'm about to tell 'bout a brand new song
that some might say is messed up and wrong
it was cut by a group of Chi-town DJs
who just like me reference the news these days

talking 'bout Chris Brown sayin' he should be beat down
and how his whole career pretty much ended now
and when the radio stations found out
they played it on the airwaves and people wil'ed out

the group was called the Smoke Jumpers until
a same-name group from Texas said "chill"
so Jump Smokers became their new name
I don't know what either means so it's all the same

their song is called "My Flow Is So Tight"
and it's getting more plays than that movie Twilight
it's got a phat beat that's mo bettah than this one
and it'll make 'ya sweat like a court decision

yeah JournalRhythm
bringin' you news fast

The mp3 can be downloaded here:


GM and Segway Unveil Two-Wheeled Vehicle: PUMA

GM and Segway demonstrated today a new two-wheeled urban vehicle prototype called the PUMA that may change the way people commute around town. They also assert that they have the GPS technology to have the vehicles drive themselves. While I can see the promise of the latter idea, I have my doubts about the vehicle itself.

The original news article can be found here:


These are the lyrics:

there's a new concept in the automotive business
it's 2 seated, 2 wheeled, and too ambitious
General Motors fearing their time is over
is desperate to meet their innovation quota

partnered with Segway trying to make headway
came up with something just a little more deadly
works like the other one except that you sit
and ride around praying that you don't get hit

relies on balance just to keep you off your face
like sitting in a two-legged chair to save space
and for that "benefit" they'll add cost into it
making it affordable to only an idiot

even if it is a solution to a problem
that don't mean it won't cause more on top of 'em
how you gettin' to work if there's ice or it snows
you gonna be cold when there's no doors to close

your groceries will have sit on your knees
and you're lucky if the wind just stays at a breeze
hope you don't need to make a real quick stop
cause like the idea itself: you gonn' flop

i know they're trying to be different and make a big deal
but there's already a better idea: more wheels
I'm not just trying to bite it. I'd also highlight an
already bright idea: GPS autopilot

so GM I say "Go for it!"
cause this manual drivin' I'm over it
i'd rather be napping not drunk drive crashin'
just ask Google Maps you can make it happen

The mp3 can be downloaded here:


North Korea Launches Rocket Over Japan

On Sunday North Korea fired a rocket that sailed over Japan, apparently fizzling out and landing in the ocean. China and Russia maintain that there is no need for alarm as the launch was of a satellite, not a ballistic missile. However, the technology tested in the launch may have been for long-range ballistics purposes, and US President Barack Obama called for action to be taken against this breach of the 2006 UN Security Council Resolution.

The original news article can be found here:


These are the lyrics:

if you don't know about the Six-Party conversation
let me take a minute to give you an education
basically it's like a game of 3 on 3
and the half court line's the in middle of Korea

on the South's side is the US and Japan
who both understand nuclear weapons first-hand
on the North's team is China and Russia
they're like the center and power forward brothers

back in '06 the UN blew the whistle
and decided any shot was cool except missiles
Pyongyang tends to forget what was said
and recently threw a missile right over Japan's head

and Japan called a timeout to avoid fighting
Obama came in and said "rules must be binding"
China and Russia said "you might be right
but that wasn't a missile, that was just a satellite"

NK needs to play safe just to stay in the game
cause for playing they get paid with food staples and aid
they just lucky to even be treated as equals
and not have America taking their free throws...

The mp3 can be downloaded here:


Do Guys Prefer Games to Girls?

According to a survey administered by www.PS3pricecompare.co.uk, approximately 1 in 3 British men stated they would rather play video games than sleep with their partner. In this song, I explore some of the factors involved in this difficult choice.

The original news article can be found here:


These are the lyrics:

to kill that last demon and watch your girl leavin'?
or ditch heavy guns for some heavy breathin'?
to rock the headboard or leave her sleepin'?
to lock the door or unlock achievements?

that is the question to which no less than
32% of British men tested
said "i'm so over bed, i'll play games instead"
"i left foreplay for Left 4 Dead"

many girls out there surprised by the answer
might think of video games as love cancer
but you can't be sure i bet there's guys galore
who would take a cheap whore over Superman 64

yeah, but if both choices tight
we could play 10 minutes at most or all night
it's a tough choice when it comes to us boys
but ima set it straight ima give us a voice
just ask any guy and they'll tell you the same
it depends on the girl; it depends on the game

if my girlfriend had sexy legs and wore fishnets beggin me "come to bed"
but then there's Chun Li from Street Fighter III, better yet SF4 it's more 3D
in times like this it could go either way
that's when I'd create a third option: cosplay

would I play Prince of Persia for PS3
or Paris Hilton? Neither. They're both too easy!
Britney Spears whispering "Come here!"
or playing Silent Hill? Either way I'm scared!
rollin' over Lindsay Lohan or a katamari?
neither one, they both cracked out, sorry.

but if I had a girl like Julia Stiles
straight up, I'd walk away from any game if it'd make her smile
again, it depends on the men's interest in women
the game's not the villian that's just the beginning

The mp3 can be downloaded here: